Sunday, November 21, 2010
Always thinking of the future. And it scares me more than anything...theres so many "what if's" that come with Diabetes that sometimes I over-think myself. What if I go blind in ten years? What if I need an amputation? What if...just something happens that isn't reversable, again. Diabetes is alot for me mentally at times. I also hate when people say "Dustin, why are you so quiet, are you mad?". Well, to be honest...yes, I am mad. I'm mad that my pancreas doesn't work. I'm mad that my family has to worry about me. I'm mad because there is so much uncertainty that comes with Type 1 Diabetes. I get mad sometimes just because I have to watch everyone around me eat whatever they want and not worry about counting carbs and injecting themselves with needles, while I have to count carbohydrates and inject myself insulin. I'm mad because I have to poke my finger with a piece of sharp metal to draw blood so I can check what my BG is. This probably sounds like me complaining, and I should probably just shut the hell up and move on. I normally am in a positive mood about this, but when everything piles up high enough, your mind can only take so much. This felt good. It'll feel better when it's published.
Posted by DeeJay45 at 10:45 PM