Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Open Letter

This is an open letter to the girl I love...

As I type this, my eyes are full of tears. You make me more happy than I could ever describe in words, but I'm going to try my best to make sure you know how happy you make me, and how thankful I am to have you as my girlfriend.

Just a few years ago, diabetes could have taken my life from me, and we would have never crossed paths. I think about that often, and just think of how glad I am that I survived it. Because not only did I pull through it for me, I pulled through it for you.

I lost my home to hurricane Irene, and your family took me in for the weekend. I love your family for that. All of you are so amazing. Thank you for being you, you are the most beautiful person on the inside and out. Thank you for being there for me when I couldn't stop crying. Thank you for being the sweetest, most beautiful, caring, adorkable girl in the world. I can go on and on about how much I love you for being in my life, but I'll leave that to my actions instead of my words.

Thank you Ashley, for picking my heart up off the ground and comforting it through such a dark part of my life, and making me see how bright the light truly is.

I love you.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Invisible Illness Week

Since it is "Invisible Illness Week", and I had nothing to write about, I decided to steal Kerri's idea and use it! 
1. The illness I live with is: Type 1 diabetes
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:  2005
3. But I had symptoms since: About a month before actual DX
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: reading all of the nutrition facts...on EVERYTHING.
5. Most people assume:. That I became a diabetic because I ate too much sugar.....
6. The hardest part about mornings are: when I wake up low.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: not sure if I even have life is my own medical TV show.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My insulin pump
9. The hardest part about nights are: not waking up because of a low blood sugar.
10. Each day I take 1 pill & a billion vitamins.  2 pills, and continuous insulin....
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: a cure would be nice!
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose:  I like that it isn't out there for everyone to see all the time. But other times I'm proud of it and let it be known and not care :)
13. Regarding working and career:  I would love to work in a field that helps PWD's.
14. People would be surprised to know: I don't know. Hard to think of anything for this. Sorry!
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: that there's a good chance that something Diabetes-related will kill me. 
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Advocate. Stand up for something bigger than myself and give a voice to the people who can't speak for themselves. 
17. The commercials about my illness: bother me. A lot of them are so inaccurate....
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: being able to exercise or play sports and not worry about a drop in blood sugar afterwards.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: I can't think of anything I really "gave up"...
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging. I never would have imagined myself having my own blog.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: oh man, I would eat so much damn I'm hungry!
22. My illness has taught me: that living with it, with others who have it, makes a world of a difference!
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "oh, you really need to take care of yourself!" DUH!
24. But I love it when people: are themselves.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: You can do this.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: that they are not alone!
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: I went from feeling like I was the only one with this illness, to having so many friends because of it!
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: stayed with me and made me laugh when we were both girlfriend is the best. <3
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I like to steal ideas from Kerri. :)
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like you care about people with diabetes!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

My Brothers Basement

So here I in my brothers basement. Hurricane Irene destroyed my house, and destroyed thousands of dollars worth of my families belongings. Hundreds of baby pictures, lawn equipment, kitchen appliances, furniture, everything. Luckily we got any medical supplies out, and moved all vehicles  out of the flooded area. This entire week has been devastating for my family. I lived in that house for 18 years, and just like that it was swept out from underneath me. The yard I played baseball with my brothers in, the yard I played frisbee with my puppy in. The yard I built massive snowmen in during the winter. Overnight my quiet, wooded, neighborhood turned into a "toxic neighborhood". Going down the hill and into my street is like entering a new dimension.

It's still unreal. My whole family is still in denial. When we go to our house, we do nothing but throw our personal belongings into dumpsters and cry. Eighteen years of memories are now over-shadowed and put to an end by Hurricane Irene. Because of the flood, the sewage plant down the street over-flowed and spilled rotten sewage into our street, filled my house with shit and destroyed everything. Everything the water touched turned into garbage. FEMA tested the air and the water in my neighborhood and discovered that there is 700 times the healthy limit of E-Coli in the water and air. Red Cross told us we can't even simply open a bag of chips and eat it because E-Coli will infect it within seconds.

Eighteen years destroyed by sewage, water, wind, and rain. It's very bittersweet going down that familiar road. It will never be the same, no matter how much fixing and painting someone can do. My childhood was destroyed overnight. Home is gone. I no longer have a place to call "home". I no longer have a place to sit down with my Mom and just talk about life. I don't have a place to go, where I can lock myself in a room and just forget about everything. I hate being separated from my family, although I know it's bound to happen someday, this is such a shock to someones system. I've cried a lot this week, I don't think I have tears anymore to cry.

Eighteen years of my life swept away in hours. Now it's up to insurance and FEMA what will happen to my street. Some rumors are that the town will buy my whole road and turn it into a dirt road. Twenty-Seven house were destroyed on my street. Twenty-seven families lives have changed and don't know what to do next. My parents are in a camper behind a gas station, and here I in my brothers basement.