Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Feeling of Failure

I don't even know how to start this blog post.

I feel like I'm not doing enough to manage diabetes. I need inspiration to get back on this damn horse and kick the shit out of diabetes and not feel like I'm not doing enough. I test, but not nearly often enough. I SWAG carbohydrates and how much insulin to use. My blood sugars are always swinging up and down.

My last A1c was a 6.8, but not because of tight control, and I can't be happy about it, because I force myself to go low and then correct the low. I don't know what I need to feel inspired again. I feel like I'm failing at this diabetes shit.

7 comments:

  1. oh my friend, we have all been there. so totally. i get it. i spent years feeling like a failure.

    but let me tell you something: YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! you're having a hard time. but things will get better. maybe pick one thing to work on, like testing 4 times a day, or counting carbs at one meal.

    you can do this. one day at a time. we are all with you all the way!

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  2. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Dustin. We've all been there - some of us still are. Especially this time a year.. I feel that I've been failing completely for so long, but it's motivational posts like Jess and Kerri lately that have helped inspire me. To let me now that I can, in fact, do what's needed. I know you can too. Whatever you need, we're here for you. Best inspirational vibes your way.

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  3. You are definately not a failure at all Dustin. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this. You can get through this, one step at a time and you know that we are all here for you :)

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  4. Hang in there bro! Its a war, not a single battle, keep at it. Your pretty much the strongest guy I've ever heard about. To make it through what you have in the last year, you can make it through anything.

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  5. You're not even close to failing, dude. You're alive & functioning. That right there is a win. Diabetes is a bitch and I swear it's sole purpose is to try to keep us down. So what do we do? Gang up on the bitch! When you don't feel like you can do it anymore, you reach out & we'll help you fight. Just like you do when one of us is feeling down. That's why the DOC is so great.

    You've had a LOT to deal with this year, buddy. Both good & bad. Even the good stuff brings stress. So just take a deep breath, give yourself a break, & dive back in when you're ready.

    You can do this!! You know how I know that? Because your are freaking awesome!

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  6. You, my love, are not a failure by any stretch of the imagination. You are without a doubt the strongest person I know. You've had a lot of stress these past few months - some good (like me!!!!), some bad - but somehow you've managed to handle all of it and after all of that, it's hard to even have the energy to deal with diabetes, let alone actually want to do it. But I know you can do it. I love you. Lots and lots.

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