Tuesday, August 7, 2012

One Year - 787

I spent a lot of my life feeling like I wasn't noticed. I spent a lot of time feeling like I wasn't good enough. Outside of my family, I never had someone who cared about me as more than a friend. I've always been self-conscience about the way I look, even though people told me I'm a good looking guy, most of the time I assume they are just trying to make me feel better about myself. I spent a long time thinking I was going to be alone forever.

I hated the thought of being alone. I always considered myself to be the type of guy that would make a good boyfriend.

I can honestly tell you, that the day I followed My Girlfriend on twitter, I fell in love. She didn't even know it. I just knew there was something about her that was different and I had to work up the courage to talk to her on twitter.

We tweeted each other all the time. I woke up excited to talk to her on twitter every morning. I was love-struck and I was nervous if she felt the same way or not. She did feel the same way, she said yes on August 6, 2011. The day my dream came true. I had the most beautiful girl in the world and I couldn't stop smiling.

A couple weeks after starting our relationship I lost my house to Hurricane Irene. I lost the house I lived in for 18 years. I was an emotional wreck. I lived in my brothers basement, and when I went on Skype with my love all I could do was cry, but she always found a way to make me laugh and smile. She comforted me, she hugged me, she made me forget what was happening around me. When I should have been crying and grieving the loss of my house, she was making me smile.

She loved me unconditionally when I was homeless. She gave me warmth when the state of Connecticut lost all of it's power in the middle of winter, she nursed me back to health when I was in agonizing pain from a horrible wisdom tooth, and the extraction.

She has always shown strength when I felt weak. She always picked me back up when I felt beaten down.

I know it was a rough few months when we first started dating, from when I lost my house and all the emotions I was going through, even though you had a ton of school work you always made time for me. You made me feel like the center of your universe. You made me feel important, and wanted. It doesn't seem like much, but every time you say "I love you, handsome" you make me feel like I really am the most handsome man in the world.

I'm proud of everything you've done, and are going to do. I'm proud of you for pursuing your dreams, and I'm so happy you're letting me join you.

You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, and being able to call you, Ashley Rose, my girlfriend makes me feel more proud than I could ever put into words.

You're beautiful, amazing, intelligent, kind and wonderful...and I love you so very much.

Happy one year, babe.